Someone asked us:
My boyfriend and I have just started having an intimate relationship. Neither of us has yet to have sex but we both participate in mutual oral and masturbation and things of such nature. The point of my question is: it really hurts when he fingers me. He washes his hands prior and he keeps his fingernails trim, but it burns when he stops. I know neither of us have STDs because we both got tested. Should we start using a lubricant?
Lubrication is really important part of a sexual activity like fingering. The vagina produces lubrication during arousal, but this can take time and foreplay. In your head, you might be ready. Your boyfriend might be ready. But your body might need a little more time before fingers get inserted. Be sure to go slow, stop if it feels uncomfortable, and most importantly, communicate about what feels good and what doesn’t.
You might also want to try using additional lubrication from a water-based lube that won’t cause any irritation and is safe for condoms (in case you do decide to have vaginal intercourse). Some people need (or enjoy) a little extra lubrication even if they are completely aroused.
BTW, your butt doesn’t produce lubrication, so any backdoor business should be accompanied with lube.
-Nathan at Planned Parenthood