Ask us anything. No judgments.

Why did my boyfriend’s penis hurt after we had sex?

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Someone asked us:

Why does my boyfriend penis hurt and burn him after we had protected sex and I was on my period?

The pain and burning that you describe could have a few different causes, but rest assured that your period has nothing to do with it. 

In general pain around the genitals can be caused by a lot of different things like an irritation from hair removal, a reaction to soap or detergent, or an allergy to latex, spermicide, or lubricant. Pain and burning can also be caused by a STD, so it’s really important that your boyfriend visit a health care provider for STD testing and a checkup.

If you used a condom, it’s possible that an allergy to latex, spermicide, or lubricant could be the problem. While only a health care provider can tell you what’s really going on, you may want to try switching some things up in the condom department. Try using non-latex polyurethane or polyisoprene condoms, or condoms without spermicide. 

- Emily at Planned Parenthood

Tagged: questionsmen's healthcondomsirritationlatex allergypainburning

Should I take emergency contraception?

Someone asked us:

I had sex on the 28th and used protection but after, he pulled out and the condom was still inside me. I went to PP the next day for plan b, but they told me that I am already protected because of the birth control I’m on, Lo loestrin. Because they said it would just mess up my bleeding cycle and not benefit me, I didnt take it. However, I have spotted light brown a few times, my breasts are sore, occasional sharp lower stomach pain (left), gas, tired all the time and peeing more often. 

Condom scares can be really stressful. One way to keep that from happening in the future is to always make sure you hold onto the base of the condom when pulling out. 

If you’re on the pill and you’ve been taking it correctly and consistently, you’re protected from pregnancy and don’t need to take emergency contraception. Taking EC when you’re on the pill isn’t harmful, but it’s not necessary. If something like this happened after you forgot a pill or two, emergency contraception would be a good idea. Learn more about how EC works. 

By the way, it’s great that you’re using condoms with your birth control pills. That way you’re protected against pregnancy and STDs. But given the issue you just had with the condom, you might want to think about getting tested for STDs.

- Alex at Planned Parenthood

Tagged: questionsEmergency contraceptionbirth controlthe pill

Is there any medication to make a penis grow?

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Someone asked us:

Is there any medication either otc or prescription that makes the penis grow in length and girth?

So you’re on the internet and you’re wondering how to make your penis bigger. You don’t have to look far to find a whole host of online retailers claiming they have the secret.

The fact of the matter is that at this time, there’s no clinically proven, safe medication to enlarge the penis— no pill, cream, or ancient herbal supplement available anywhere.

There are some surgical techniques available including tissue grafting, fat injections, and detachment of the penis from the pelvic bone — but each of those procedures comes with a number of risks that turn off many of the men who explore these options. Some of those risks include a loss of sensitivity, erectile dysfunction, and infection.

Lots of guys who ask about penis enlargement don’t realize that their penises are actually average size. Studies show that most men have penises between five and seven inches long (and that’s with an erection). Even if you’re smaller than that, you shouldn’t be worried about it. When it comes to pleasing your partner in bed? It’s more about the lengths you’ll go than the length you’ve got. 

- Emily at Planned Parenthood

Tagged: penisespenis sizequestions

Is it normal for my vulva to smell when I’m on my period?

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Someone asked us:

My vagina smells on my period. Is this normal?

Your vulva (your vagina is just the internal part of your vulva) does different stuff at different times of the month. Throughout your menstrual cycle, it’s normal to notice different sensations, different kinds of discharge, and yeah, different odors. This can take a little getting used to, but after a while you should feel pretty well acquainted with the ins and outs of your vulva. 

If your vulva is healthy, its odor shouldn’t be unpleasant — at any time in your cycle. Regular showers should take care of some normal body smells like sweat and urine.  All you need is water and/or mild soap. Steer clear of douches and feminine deodorants. The vagina is self-cleaning, so douching is unnecessary, and it can be harmful. Douching can disturb the normal balance of bacteria found in the vagina, which is one way a woman can get vaginitis, an inflammation of the vagina.

So chances are your vulva just smells like a vulva. But if you’re noticing a really strong or unpleasant odor, and/or any unusual or smelly discharge, you should see a health care provider right away. It might be a sign of an infection.

- Alex at Planned Parenthood

Tagged: questionsvulvadishargeodor

Female ejaculation

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Someone told us:

How do you make a girl squirt?

“Squirting,” or female ejaculation, is when a clear liquid is involuntarily released during an orgasm. The cause of female ejaculation used to be shrouded in mystery, but researchers now believe it to be caused by a build up of fluid released by the Skenes glands (which are located near the clitoris) during sexual excitement. 

You might be wondering if the majority of women ejaculate when they have an orgasm – the answer to that is no.  You might also be thinking that if she “squirts” it’s a better orgasm than if she doesn’t – also not true.  If you’re interested in it, you should start by asking her if she’s interested in or even cares about ejaculating – you might find it doesn’t matter to her at all, or even that she prefers not to.

For some women, ejaculation happens spontaneously—they may not know why, and it may only happen once or twice in their lives. Others find it happens with a lot of vaginal stimulation, as opposed to clitoral stimulation. 

Learning how to satisfy your partner sexually can be fun and rewarding. The idea of your partner ejaculating might seem exciting, but the goal is for you to figure out together what each of you wants and likes, and enjoy doing that.  For most women orgasms without ejaculation are just fine, and the pressure to experience an orgasm in one way versus another can be a major turn-off. 

- Emily at Planned Parenthood

Tagged: orgasmsfemale ejaculationsquirtingquestions

Should I stop my birth control since I’m no longer in a relationship?

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Someone asked us:

I broke up with my boyfriend. Should I go off birth control?

As for going off birth control: it’s totally up to you. It’s worth keeping in mind that there are plenty of good reasons to stay on birth control, even if you aren’t having sex. Many hormonal methods of birth control can make your periods shorter, lighter, and more regular, and can relieve cramps and some other premenstrual symptoms, and even help with acne. Some hormonal methods can also help reduce your risk of ovarian cysts and cancer.

If you do decide to go off (or back on) birth control, your body might need a little adjustment period. It can take about three months for your body to get used to it again, and during those first few months you might experience some side effects, including spotting or irregular periods. The same is true when you go off birth control – you might notice that your menstrual cycle is irregular for a couple months. 

Staying on birth control even after your relationship ends (or you stop having sex regularly for whatever reason) is often a really good idea, because then you won’t have to worry about getting back on birth control when you start having sex again – you’ll already be protected for any planned or unplanned sex that might come your way in the future. In fact studies show that the “gap” between using birth control for those who do go off and on again is a really risky time for unintended pregnancy.  It’s always a good idea to be prepared for future (and possibly unplanned) sex.

- Nina at Planned Parenthood

Tagged: questionsbirth controlthe pill

What does “birth control failure” mean?

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Someone asked us:

What does it mean when people say “birth control failure” ? How do u know when if fails?

“Birth control failure” can refer to a number of things, but in general it means that the birth control method two people were using didn’t work the way they planned. This might be because the method itself failed — for instance, the condom broke. But more often it’s because the method was somehow used incorrectly. Some common examples of birth control failure include:

• Forgetting to take the birth control pill every day

• Putting a condom on incorrectly

• Forgetting to replace the birth control patch or ring.

• Not pulling out before ejaculation (when using the withdrawal method)

• Waiting to put a condom on until mid-sex

The only 100 percent effective way to not get pregnant is to not have vaginal sex.. But some methods of birth control are nearly impossible to mess up – like the IUD and the implant – because they’re placed in your body by a health care provider and stay there for years.  Others, like the pill, patch or ring, are more prone to failure because there’s the potential for human error involved.

Using a condom along with another form of birth control is an excellent way to prevent pregnancy, and it has the added bonus of reducing the risk of giving or getting an STD. Visit our website to read up on birth control method(s) and how to use them correctly.

If you think your birth control method failed, you may want to take emergency contraception (the morning-after pill). Emergency contraception can prevent pregnancy if taken within five days after unprotected sex.

- Alex at Planned Parenthood

Tagged: questionsbirth controlbirth control failurecondomthe pillemergency contraception

Is it possible to be pregnant and still have your period?

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Someone asked us:

Is it possible to be pregnant and still have your period?

Hundreds of people ask us this question every day on our chat and text lines. Maybe your aunt said she had her period the whole time she was pregnant with your cousin, or maybe you’ve had unprotected sex and even though you got your period you want to be really sure — and there’s nothing wrong with that!

So here’s what you need to know: Women who are pregnant don’t get a period (meaning a monthly shedding of the uterine lining) during the time that they’re pregnant. But sometimes bleeding happens for other reasons. Some women experience light spotting in the beginning of their pregnancy, called implantation bleeding, but for most women this bleeding is much lighter and does not last as long as a normal period. 

It’s definitely possible for women who normally have very light periods to mistake that for their period, just as it’s possible for women who have irregular cycles to not notice if they miss a period, and not find out that they’re pregnant until several months down the line. But if you get your period at the time you expect it, and it’s not unlike the bleeding you usually have, then it’s super unlikely that you’re pregnant. If your bleeding is much lighter and/or shorter than usual, there’s no harm in taking a pregnancy test to be certain. 

Other than implantation bleeding, there are a few other reasons why pregnant women have vaginal bleeding. The causes vary and depend on how long a woman has been pregnant.  A pregnant woman who discovers that she has vaginal bleeding should contact her health care provider immediately to make sure everything is okay. Bleeding happens to one out of five pregnant women. What’s unlikely is for the bleeding to be as heavy or last as long as a regular period, or coincide closely enough with the time you normally get your period for you to mistake it as one for nine months in a row.

The vast majority of pregnant women find out they’re pregnant long before their due date, and most of them do not bleed at all during pregnancy.

- Emily at Planned Parenthood

Tagged: pregnancyperiodspregnancy testsquestions

What does it mean if I need a colposcopy?

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Someone asked us:

I have received an abnormal pap smear and have been called in for a colposcopy. Is it likely that this is HPV?


Yes - it is likely that the abnormal cells detected from your Pap test are the result of HPV. But no need to freak out yet - there are more than 100 types of HPV (human papilloma virus), and most have no harmful effect at all and go away on their own. Certain types of HPV may cause cell changes that sometimes lead to cervical cancer and certain other genital and throat cancers. These are called high-risk types.

A colposcopy will provide a closer look at whatever cervical cell changes were detected during your Pap test. During a colposcopy, a health care provider uses a colposcope — an instrument that looks like a pair of binoculars with a bright light mounted on a stand. Depending on what the health care provider sees, they’ll either recommend a follow-up Pap test in a few months, or they’ll collect a small amount of tissue in order to perform a biopsy. 

Sometimes, the biopsy is also the treatment. The health care provider may be able to remove all of the abnormal cells during the colposcopy and biopsy procedure. If so, no further treatment is needed.

Another procedure may be needed for further treatment if it’s determined you do have pre-cancerous cells. The following procedures are very effective at removing the abnormal areas of the cervix and preventing cervical cancer:

• Cryotherapy — abnormal tissue is frozen off

• LEEP — abnormal tissue is removed using a thin wire loop that carries an electrical current

• Laser — abnormal tissue is destroyed with a laser beam

• Cone biopsy — a cone-shaped wedge is cut out of the cervix

You should know that HPV is extremely common, The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has reported that as many as 80 percent of women — and 50 percent of men and women combined — will get HPV at some point in their lives. However, most of those infections go away or are suppressed by the body within one to two years, without causing any problems that require treatment. 

Learn more about HPV.

- Emily at Planned Parenthood

Tagged: HPVcervical cancercolposcopyPap testquestions

Should virgins use vibrators?

Someone asked us:

I was thinking about getting a vibrator, but I’ve never had sex. Should I wait?

There’s no reason to wait. Lots of people masturbate for years before they have sex. You can read about the many benefits of masturbation here.

Because you’ve never had sex, you may be worried that using a vibrator will somehow spoil sex with someone else for the first time. But even if your vibrator rules, having sex with someone else will be a different kind of experience. Sex can make you feel more connected to someone you love, or it can be a really fun thing to do with someone you like or feel passionate about.  As long as both people feel respected and take steps to reduce their risk of STDs or unintended pregnancy, seeing and touching someone else’s body, being seen and touched by them, getting to know what you both like doing together, and being surprised by trying new things are all thrills that (despite being a great little invention) your vibrator alone can’t give you.

So even if you sit around having great vibrator-induced orgasms for years before you have sex with someone else, you’ll still find that it’s only one way to enjoy yourself.

- Emily at Planned Parenthood

Tagged: masturbationvibratorsvirginityquestionssex toys

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