Someone asked us:
I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 3 years and we have both felt that me giving him oral was okay but the thought of him doing it to me was awkward and he never was into that. Now he’s been wanting to try it but I’m insanely nervous about whether or not I will enjoy it since I’ve never had a guy give me oral and if everything will smell/taste fine down there. What can I do to calm my nerves and ease my worries?
First of all, before you engage in any kind of sex, whether it’s your first or thousandth time doing it, it’s really important that you feel sure you want to be doing it. There’s no reason to have any kind of sex that you’re not into having — you are not obligated to have sex to satisfy anyone’s curiosity, even someone you really care about.
That said, lots of women really enjoy receiving oral sex from their partner. For some it is the easiest way for them to achieve orgasm – easier than by having vaginal sex. There’s nothing dirty or wrong about oral sex, it really is just about your comfort level and doing what feels pleasurable and right for you.
Plenty of people worry about how they’ll smell or taste to a partner performing oral sex. There are a lot of myths out there about vaginas smelling “fishy,” which can lead to some serious “do I smell bad???” insecurities. But the truth is, vulvas mostly just smell like…vulvas. Pretty much every vulva has a characteristic scent. If it’s free of infection, the smell isn’t unpleasant. In fact, plenty of people really like the way vulvas smell.
If you’re self-conscious about smelling like sweat or urine, you can take a shower before your boyfriend gives you oral. But we don’t recommend douching or using feminine deodorants - your vagina is self-cleaning, and these can disturb the healthy balance of bacteria in the vagina. So douching and feminine deodorant aren’t just unnecessary, but they can be harmful as well.
Getting used to the smell of your vulva — and to the idea of another person getting close to it — can take some time. Ask yourself if you’re ready. If yes, great! If not, that’s totally fine too.
- Nina at Planned Parenthood