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Should virgins use vibrators?

Someone asked us:

I was thinking about getting a vibrator, but I’ve never had sex. Should I wait?

There’s no reason to wait. Lots of people masturbate for years before they have sex. You can read about the many benefits of masturbation here.

Because you’ve never had sex, you may be worried that using a vibrator will somehow spoil sex with someone else for the first time. But even if your vibrator rules, having sex with someone else will be a different kind of experience. Sex can make you feel more connected to someone you love, or it can be a really fun thing to do with someone you like or feel passionate about.  As long as both people feel respected and take steps to reduce their risk of STDs or unintended pregnancy, seeing and touching someone else’s body, being seen and touched by them, getting to know what you both like doing together, and being surprised by trying new things are all thrills that (despite being a great little invention) your vibrator alone can’t give you.

So even if you sit around having great vibrator-induced orgasms for years before you have sex with someone else, you’ll still find that it’s only one way to enjoy yourself.

- Emily at Planned Parenthood

Tagged: masturbationvibratorsvirginityquestionssex toys

All About Lube

Someone asked us:

Where can I buy water based or silicon lube? Do you need a prescription?

Nope! You don’t need a prescription for water- or silicone-based lube, and you can buy it at a drugstore or pharmacy over the counter. It’s usually found near the condoms, where you’ll find brands like K-Y, Astroglide, or ID-Glide. You can often also find small, single-use samples of lube at health centers. 

So what’s the deal with water- and silicone-based lubes? Water-based lubes are the most common, since they’re safe to use with both condoms and sex toys, they’re easy to clean up, and they’re usually non-irritating. Water-based lubes can dry up  fairly quickly, but you can easily “reactivate” them again with water or saliva (or more lube). Silicone-based lubes generally last longer, since silicone isn’t absorbed by skin the way water is. They can be used with condoms, but not with silicone sex toys, as silicone-on-silicone creates a chemical reaction that can dissolve and degrade the surface of the toy and make it feel sticky. 

Lube is a great product to have on hand for safer, more pleasurable sex. Lube makes condoms slippery and less likely to break. Lube also makes sex feel better by cutting down on friction, which can irritate your skin. 

When you’re buying lube, it’s important to find one that works for you and your condom (and/or toy). Never use oil-based lube (like petroleum jelly) with a condom – the oil in the lube can cause it to break. Read the package insert that comes with your condoms if you have any questions about what you can use. Here’s a handy guide to picking the right lube for you from Babeland

- Nina at Planned Parenthood

Tagged: lubelubricantsex toysquestions

Safer Sex Sex Toys


Someone asked us:

Are there sex toys that are safer to use than others? What about lubrication? Thanks! You guys are the best! :)

You’re welcome! There are a lot of sex toys out there, and they can be made out of different materials including silicon, plastics, glass and more!  When thinking about materials, you mainly just want to make sure you stay away from phthalates, which are usually found in jelly rubber toys.  If you’re having sex and using a condom (which we highly recommend!), you’ll want to stay away from oil based lube because they can break down the latex.  Babeland has lots more details on toy materials  and lube materials.  But when it comes to preventing the transmission of STDs, it’s not so much about the toy as it is how you use it.

Sexually transmitted infections are spread by the exchange of body fluids (like semen, blood, and vaginal secretions) and by skin-to-skin genital contact. So one of the safest ways to use sex toys is to not share them. If you do share, then cover the toy with a condom and use a new one for each partner. Lastly, depending on what your toy is made out of, you can clean it with soap and water, put it in the dishwasher, or boil it, depending on what it’s made out of. Some sex toys can be cleaned but not disinfected. Again, Babeland can break this cleaning thing down for you best.

-Nathan at Planned Parenthood

Tagged: questionsSTDssafer sexsex toys

STDs and Sex Toys


Someone asked us:

Q. For a lesbian couple in a monogamous relationship, is it necessary to cover sex toys with condoms? Thank you.

Hi! It’s good you’re thinking about safer sex, even when pregnancy isn’t a possibility. For anyone using sex toys, it’s important to keep them clean to avoid transmitting STDs as well as bacteria. Using condoms is one way to minimize transmitting  anything between partners if both people are using the toy. They’re also helpful between uses by multiple partners, as they can reduce the amount of bodily fluids that stay on the toys between uses. If only one person is using a toy, condoms are also preferable if you’re not able to clean your toys often. Even if you’re using condoms though, make sure to clean your toys regularly.  The instructions that come with your sex toys should include washing instructions. 

-Tobias at PPFA

Tagged: LGBTQquestionssafer sexsex toyscondoms

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