Planned Parenthood

If you’re like most of the Internet, you were excited (and a little confused) when Playboy, a mainstream publication sporting a less-than-stellar record with feminists and critics of porn and rape culture, announced yesterday that some of their past attitudes were, indeed, harmful to women. To right these historical wrongs, they would shift the focus of their annual party schools list from bikinis and binge drinking to the importance of sexual consent.

Except…not quite. It turns out a group called FORCE: Upsetting Rape Culture, along with college students and other activists, are behind the fake Playboy websites that promoted consent, body acceptance, sexual diversity, and other awesome things not typically seen in the party guides of yore.  But the reason so many people initially bought it - including us (oopsies!) -  isn’t because we’re all overly-optimistic, naive dumdums. It’s because framing consent as a way to make parties more fun and sex hotter ACTUALLY MAKES COMPLETE AND TOTAL SENSE.

All too often, discussions of rape are hijacked by the bogus claim that getting genuine consent is confusing and difficult, that it ruins the mood, spontaneity, and pleasure of sex. But in reality, it’s actually really easy to not rape someone. The genus of the Playboy hack (and also what made it so believable) is that the activists managed to harness everything the Playboy brand claims they represent - sexual liberation, sex positivity, and pleasure - while seamlessly proving that none of it is possible without consent.  

And it’s true! Consent isn’t about killing the mood, it’s about making sex BETTER.  When you communicate with your partner(s), sex is BETTER. When people pay attention to and acknowledge each other’s verbal and non-verbal signals, sex is BETTER. When partners cooperate with condom/birth control use to protect against STDs and/or unwanted pregnancy, sex is BETTER. When nobody is being pressured or coerced, sex is BETTER. When everyone is consciously, genuinely, enthusiastically into what’s happening, sex is BETTER. When people treat their sexual partners like autonomous human beings who deserve respect and kindness, SEX IS BETTER.

Fake Hugh Hefner breaks it down real basic-like: “Consensual sex is simply sex that is pleasurable for everyone involved. The anti-rape and consent movement bubbling up in America is important and I support it. It’s good for women. It’s good for men. It’s good for sex.” Bravo, Fake Hugh Hefner. Bravo.

Maybe someday, this is what magazines will REALLY be saying. In the meantime, we doff our party hats to the visionaries who not only demonstrated that consensual sex = good sex, but proved that people actually want to hear more positive messages about consent from the media. This is what engaging yet socially responsible journalism about sex truly looks like - hopefully it won’t have to be faked for long.