I've been questioning my sexuality for some time now. I’m f25 and sometimes when I masturbate I think about women/watch lesbian porn. I've never been in a sexual situation with anyone so I have no basis for comparison. I know that sexuality is fluid and can change over time but I want to be true to myself and if I am bi then I don't want to contribute to bi erasure by telling other people 'oh no that just means ur straight' if I ever get asked about bisexuality down the road. Help pls lol
Asked by Anonymous
It’s super common to be unsure about your sexual orientation. You’re right — it can change over time. It’s normal to be “questioning” for a while, or to feel like none of the labels that already exist are quite right for you.
But there’s no easy answer for this one. At the end of the day, only you know how you truly feel, and only you get to decide how to identify your sexual orientation (if you even want to label it at all — and if you want to not use labels, that’s fine too!). It’s totally OK to try on a label to see if it fits, to change it later if it doesn’t, or to wait to choose a label until you feel more sure. You don’t need to be sexually active to learn about your sexual orientation, either. Just go with your gut, and give yourself permission to explore your identity at your own pace. You’re in charge here.
It can also sometimes help to talk with LGBTQ+ people who have gone through similar experiences and can offer support. You may be able to find a local LGBTQ community center, or other resources like online communities, through CenterLink.
It’s great that you’re sensitive to bi erasure and want to make sure bisexuality is acknowledged and respected. So much of sex education is about strengthening our understanding of self, while learning to be respectful of and compassionate toward others! Just try to remember that your personal journey can be just that. Your own identity — however it may evolve — won’t hurt or erase others.