Planned Parenthood

Someone asked us: 

I lost my virginity 1 week ago tomorrow. We used a condom, but he was pretty rough and it hurt a lot. I’m still in pain and there’s some swelling- do I need to go to the doctor? How long should I keep hurting?

I’m sorry that you’re hurting. A week is a long time to be in pain, so you may want to call a health care provider for a check up and some help feeling better.

Under the right circumstances, sex can feel really great. But it can also feel really not great. Sex is definitely better when people feel comfortable asking for what they need, want, don’t need, and don’t want, and when their partners are responsive and sensitive to those requests. So it’s all about communicating with your partner before, during and after sex. If something doesn’t feel good, tell them.  Also tell them what you think would feel good (not sure? Then you might want to spend some time alone getting to know your own body and what you do/don’t like).

And one general tip for the future: lubrication can be a lifesaver. A lot of the time when sex hurts, it’s because there’s too much friction which irritates your skin. Drug stores sell lube (like Astroglide or KY), which can really reduce that friction and make sex feel a whole lot better.

If you plan to have sex again (which, by the way, you don’t have to if you don’t want to), I hope you’ll have a talk with your partner about going slow, making sure you’re ready, and making sure things feel the way you want them to feel. If you don’t feel comfortable having that kind of talk with him, I understand… but you might want to think about whether it’s worth having sex with someone you can’t really talk to.

-Mary at Planned Parenthood