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Showing 17 posts tagged lube
High-resDid you know that lube can make sex safer AND increase comfort and pleasure at the same time!? Make sure your lube is safe to use with condoms. That means only using water-based or silicone-based lube with latex condoms — lube with oil in it can break down latex and cause condoms to tear. It’s also a bad idea to use lotions, baby oil, or Vaseline as sexual lubricants because they can irritate your genitals and cause condoms to break.
Someone asked us:
My vagina stays dry during sex, and it’s super uncomfortable for me. Is there anything I can do to make it feel better?
Sex is supposed to feel good, so if you’re experiencing pain visit your nurse or doctor or local Planned Parenthood health center to get checked out.
Having pleasurable sex includes being comfortable asking for what you want and need and having partners that are responsive and sensitive to those requests. Communication is key! If something is uncomfortable and painful, tell them.
You can also try using lubricant to ease up some of the friction that happens during sex. Water-based and silicone-based lubes can really reduce that friction and make sex feel a whole lot better. But stay away from lotions, baby oil, or petroleum jelly because they can irritate your genitals and break condoms.
-Attia at Planned Parenthood
Anal sex means penis-in-anus sex or toy-in-anus sex. For some people, the anus and prostate are erogenous zones — a part of the body that, when touched, makes you feel aroused.
Some people think anal sex is less risky because pregnancy is extremely unlikely. (You can’t get pregnant from having anal sex unless you let semen drip from the anus into the vagina.) But anal sex still comes with risks. You can get an STD from anal sex — whether you’re on the giving or receiving end — just like you could from oral or vaginal sex. Side note: there are also steps you can take to make oral-to-anal sex more safe.
Here’s how to keep yourself and your partner safer during anal sex:
If the idea of anal sex doesn’t turn you on, that’s 100% okay. As with all things sexual, you don’t have to have anal sex if you don’t want to. The important thing is that if you’re going to have anal sex, make sure you’re taking steps to protect yourself and your partner.
-Chelsea @ Planned Parenthood
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Someone asked us:
I feel silly but how do you use protection while having oral sex?
Don’t feel silly! Feel the opposite of silly! Because it’s awesome that you’re reaching out for information to protect your health. And I’ve got good news for you friend: there are a lot of ways to use protection during oral sex.
First, we need to know what parts you’re working with. If we’ve got some mouth to penis action happening, then a good old fashioned condom will serve you well. You might want to find a flavored one or use some flavored lube, if you’re not so fond of the taste of latex, plastic, or lube without flavor.
If we’re getting down with a vulva, using protection is a bit different. Dental dams (AKA Sheer Glyde Dams) are a thin piece of latex made specifically for this purpose. Just place it right over the vulva for instant STD protection. Dental dams can also be used for oral sex on the anus.
Dental dams are great, but they aren’t quite as easy to find as condoms. But there’s a solution to that! Condoms made to fit over a penis can be cut and turned into dental dams. Super cool, right? Check out this pinterest-worthy DIY post on how to easily turn a condom into a dental dam.
Bon appétit,
-Kellie at Planned Parenthood
Someone asked us:
I’ve heard friends say that coconut oil is a great lubricant. I tried it and I really like it, but I’m worried it’s not safe. Can coconut oil cause yeast or bacterial infections?
Coconut oil is super popular for all kinds of health and cosmetic uses. There’s not really any research out there on this, but we haven’t seen any evidence suggesting that it would cause an infection (though allergies or irritation is possible when you put any kind of product on sensitive skin). If you try it, make sure there aren’t things added to the oil you get. Sugars and other additives could potentially cause yeast or other vaginal infections.
However, if you’re using condoms to protect yourself from STDs or pregnancy, you should definitely NOT use an oil-based lube like coconut oil. Oil-based lubes can damage the material condoms are made from and lead to breakage. It’s much safer to use water or silicone-based lubes with condoms.
If you’re using it for masturbation with a sex toy of some kind, it’s a good idea to check and see if it’s safe to use with the material the sex toy is made out of. Oil-based lube and silicone toys don’t mix.
At the end of the day, your best bet is to talk with a doctor or nurse about using coconut oil as lube.
-Emily at Planned Parenthood
That’s right, Mr. Block— there IS always time for lubricant! Especially when you’re dealing with anal sex, lubricant is an evolutionary part of a healthy sex life. Without using a lubricant, you run the risk of tears in both condoms and your fragile tissue lining.
Read all about the different types and ingredients in lubricants in our Guide to Lubes, or learn the History of Lubricants (this is for you fanfiction authors out there).
Then, check out why you shouldn’t use oil-based lubes with latex or polyisoprene condoms AND follow that up with how to tell if you’re allergic to a lube!
(via mouthfulofchocolatedust)
Someone asked us:
Isn’t using a dental dam really really unsexy? Like how even does that work..?
I’m so jazzed you asked this, because it means I get to talk about one of my favorite subjects ever: sexy safer sex! And yes, sexy safer sex is a real thing that is totally possible. BELIEVE IT!
Dental dams are less complicated to use than many people realize: all you do is lay them over a vulva and/or anus, and use your mouth to stimulate your partner through the material. They don’t need to be stretched taut or pressed tight against the skin, just gently held in place. (Some find it’s easier if the recipient holds the dam so the giver’s hands are free to roam.) Dams may even cling to the body on their own because of vaginal moisture or static.
Dental dams prevent skin-to-skin contact during oral sex, which can spread STDs like herpes. They also prevent contact with vaginal fluids, which can spread STDs like gonorrhea. And they offer protection against the specific health risks of oral-to-anal sex.
I’ll spare you my “safer sex IS sexy because you can’t have good time while worrying about STDs” lecture, and get right to the good stuff: how can we ACTUALLY make using dental dams and other safer sex materials hot? Here are some tried-and-true tips from sex educators:
As with condoms, dams only kill the mood if you let them. If you and your partner are into each other, having a great time, and keeping things spicy and positive, a little square of latex shouldn’t be the kryptonite that takes your sexy party down.
-Kendall at Planned Parenthood
Someone asked us:
What kind of STD I can get while giving a blowjob ? I don’t like to have someone’s penis in my mouth with a condom, because you know, the taste is not really enjoyable, but is it necessarly when I meet someone new ? If yes, I’ll reconsider my point of view about it.
A lot of people are unfamiliar with the STD risks linked to oral sex, so it’s great that you’re asking about it. STDs that are spread easily by penis-to-mouth contact include herpes, gonorrhea, HPV, and Hepatitis B. Infections like syphilis, HIV, and chlamydia can also be transmitted through oral sex, though it’s very rare.
Because most of the time STDs don’t show symptoms, it can be hard to know if your partner has an infection just by asking them or looking at their penis. This is why it’s important to use protection when you’re having ANY kind of sex (oral, anal, vaginal).
It’s a good idea to be cautious and use condoms — even for oral sex — unless you both have been tested (since having sex with anyone else) and are in a monogamous relationship (where you only have sexual skin-to-skin contact or exchange sexual fluids with each other).
It’s understandable that the taste of regular condoms isn’t quite your thing, and luckily, there are a few alternatives. You can try polyisoprene or polyurethane condoms, which are made out of plastic (so they don’t have that “rubber glove” flavor). There are also non-lubricated condoms made specifically for oral sex . Other types of flavored condoms, or regular condoms + flavored lube, can also turn safer oral sex into a tastier treat.
Remember: using condoms for oral may not feel ideal, but neither does getting an STD.
-Mylanie at Planned Parenthood
Someone asked us:
This will sound silly, but I want to have better sex with my boyfriend. Sometimes I hurt inside, like he’s pushing too far in. I mean, I like having sex, I just hate that feeling. What is going on and is there anything I can do to make it better?
It is definitely NOT silly to want to have sex without pain!
There are a few things that could be causing this discomfort, depending on what type of sex you’re having.
If you’re having vaginal sex, certain vaginal infections or STDs can cause pain during intercourse, so it’s a good idea to check in with a doctor or nurse to rule out any of those things. More likely though, it’s just a normal thing that sometimes happens during sex. Having pain further in your vagina, up by your cervix, can happen if your partner’s penis goes in too deep, hits your cervix from a certain angle, or is a size or shape that just so happens to feel uncomfortable in some places in your vagina. This is quite common — remember that everyone’s body is different and fits with other bodies differently. Solving this may be as simple as him only putting his penis in your vagina as deep as it’s comfortable for you, going slower, and/or trying different positions (especially ones where you control how deep his penis goes in, like you being on top).
Some people also have discomfort during vaginal penetration if there’s not enough lubrication (which is nobody’s fault – needing a lot of time for natural lubrication is very normal). So you could try more foreplay before moving onto sex (like kissing, touching, etc.) Store-bought lube can also help with vaginal discomfort and – bonus! – make condoms feel and work better.
Speaking of lube: if you’re having anal sex, lube is an absolute MUST. Anuses don’t self-lubricate the way vaginas do, so anal penetration without lubrication can result in pain, discomfort, and even tearing that may increase your STD risk. It’s also very important to be relaxed and go slow. Your boyfriend should check in with you to make sure you’re enjoying yourself and feeling good, and you should feel free to communicate with him if anything hurts.
And that brings me to my main suggestion: no matter what, talk with your boyfriend. Tell him exactly what you told me – that you like having sex with him, but sometimes it hurts. He won’t know you’re in pain unless you tell him, and he should want to fix this as much as you do! Communicating your likes, dislikes, wants, and needs about sex to your partner doesn’t mean you’re a bad match or that either of you suck at sex; it means you really like, trust, and want to please each other. It’s an effective and healthy way to make your relationship – and your sex – better. So get to talkin’!
-Kendall at Planned Parenthood
