We are being taught in class that abortion is painful and that having sex is always leading to bad things like unwanted pregnancy and an STD. I’m concerned. Is this true?
It sounds like your sex ed teacher is more concerned with scaring you away from sex than with giving you the facts. But never fear: Planned Parenthood is here!
So this is the deal: There are two kinds of abortion — the abortion pill and in-clinic abortion. With both procedures, most people experience cramps that are similar to menstrual cramps. Some might experience more discomfort, but the doctor or nurse will do the best they can to make the patient feel comfortable. For an in-clinic abortion, this can mean taking pain medication and/or localized numbing medicine.
The generalization that “abortion is painful” makes it sound scary and unsafe. But abortion is one of the safest procedures performed in the U.S., and rarely results in complications.
Although it’s true that sex can lead to unintended pregnancy and STDs, there are things you can do to help prevent those things from happening. Getting tested for STDs regularly and using condoms and/or dental dams every time you have sex can help prevent the spread of STDs. And birth control does a bang-up job of preventing pregnancy.
Yes, the thought of STDs and unintended pregnancy can be nerve-racking. But having sex or being curious about sex doesn’t make you a bad person. That’s why here at Planned Parenthood, we talk about what healthy communication looks like. We talk about getting tested. We talk about consent and waiting to have sex until you’re ready, and how to protect yourself against unintended pregnancy and STDs when you decide you are. And we make sure you have the support you need to explore all of your options — abortion, adoption, and parenting — if you’re experiencing an unintended pregnancy.
Check out our past tumblr Q&As and our website to get the facts you need. Want a real live person to answer your questions? Live-chat with a trained sex educator.
-Chelsea @ Planned Parenthood
I’ve realized how important it is to talk and keep talking about sexuality. If your younger sibling comes to you with questions, you can step up and be that person who tells them what they need to know. It will probably make them feel a lot less confused and a lot more knowledgeable— just make sure you have all of your facts straight!
Welcome to Advanced Sex Ed. Put on your smarty pants because we’re kicking things up a notch with some higher-level sexual learnin’.
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Advanced Sex Ed: The Science of the Placebo Week
Someone asked us:
Hey PP, this is kind of a science question, but I’m wondering why birth control pills can fail if you accidentally skip a day or don’t take the pills at the same time everyday, yet I have heard it’s fine and safe to have sex when you’re on your period (during the placebo week of pills). That seems weird, how does it work?! Thanks!
First let’s talk about the menstrual cycle and fertility. During a normal menstrual cycle (without any kind of hormonal birth control), your body releases an egg from your ovaries about once a month. During that month, your body prepares for a pregnancy by building up the lining of your uterus. If the egg isn’t fertilized by sperm, then no pregnancy occurs. Your period is your body flushing out the lining of your uterus along with your unfertilized egg. All of this is directed by signals your brain sends to your body via hormones.
Each birth control pill has a small amount of hormones that send signals to your body. Except the hormones in your pills keep your eggs from leaving your ovaries, and thicken your cervical mucus, which makes it difficult for sperm to get through to an egg. It also keeps the lining in your uterus thinner (hence why taking the pill leads to lighter and more manageable periods).
We like to compare the pill to having your own personal security guard that keeps your egg from leaving your ovaries, and stops sperm from reaching your egg. In general, each pill has enough hormones to last until the next pill (plus a little bit longer as a buffer). So if we’re thinking of the pill as a guard, missing a pill means your guard might be off duty. That egg might sneak by, and any sperm that happens to be hanging around in your body from sex in the last 6 days might get the chance to reach your egg.
Your “guard” doesn’t have to be on duty during the placebo week, AKA the week you’re not taking hormones. The window for ovulation occurs during the weeks you’re taking your pill. Once that time has passed, the pill has already done its job to prevent fertilization for the month. By the time the placebo week comes around, the chance for an egg to leave your ovaries has already passed. This is also the week when you’ll get your period. So as long as you took your pills as directed that month and start your next pack on time, pregnancy is incredibly unlikely.
With the combination pill, there’s usually enough hormones in each pill to give you a bit of flex time. It’s still best to try and take it at the same time every day, but if you miss a pill you’ll usually be ok if you follow your prescription’s instructions on what to do next. The mini-pill, or progestin only pill, doesn’t have as many hormones, so it’s really important to take it at the same time every day. If you’re as little as three hours off, you could be at risk of pregnancy.
Do you have any recommendations on what age it’s appropriate to talk to your child about each different part of reproduction, puberty, sex, gender identity, masturbation, different types of sex, and all that. I’m trying to go by what I’m asked but I’m not really sure when to keep talking beyond the basic question and when I’m in danger of overwhelming my child with too much information that they aren’t ready for. Thanks for your help!
Great question! As you and every other parent has probably noticed, talking with children about sexuality is a lifelong conversation. Doing it a little bit at a time helps keeps children — and their parents — from feeling overwhelmed.
Like voting, sex talks should happen early and often. Children are curious about their bodies and about different kinds of relationships almost as soon as they start noticing them. For young children, you can start by teaching them the names of their body parts. Their questions create a natural opportunity to start building a respectful and trusting relationship that can last through their teens.
And when we talk to our kids about sex-related stuff, it’s important to keep the conversation age appropriate. For example, when my daughter was three she asked me how she was born, and I told her that she came out of my body. She was in the bathtub and she laughed for five minutes straight when I told her this, but I think she got the message. When she asked me the same question at age six I gave her more detail, beginning with, “After nine months of growing inside my uterus, you came out through my vagina …”
Our kids have various reasons for asking us questions about sex and sexuality. They may just be curious, they may need help making a decision, or they may need to be reassured that they’re “normal.” And no matter how surprising their questions may be, kids always need honest, factual answers.
I’m so glad you asked! Lots of people have this question. And what’s funny is most of them know what a vulva IS, they’ve just been using the wrong name.
Most people call vulvas “vaginas,” even though that’s not technically correct. The vagina is actually just the tube inside that runs from the uterus and cervix to the vaginal opening.
The vulva, on the other hand, is the all-in-one term for the entire external shebang: clitoris, urethral opening (pee hole), inner and outer labia (lips), vaginal opening, perineum (taint), and anus. That’s it! Just a simple name for our outside genitals.
It’s important to know the correct names for our body parts and what they look like, so we can accurately talk about them with doctors and intimate partners.
Yes, for realsies, we do actually encourage folks to explore their bodies and check out their “cha chas” with a mirror. Aside from being an important part of self-love and body positivity, knowing your genitals up close and personal makes it easier to tell if something goes awry down there. It can also help you learn how you like to be touched, which can make sex better. And one of the coolest things about vulvas is how beautifully unique they all look — just like snowflakes.
So, for the love of all snowflakes, go forth and spread The Gospel of the Vulva!
-Kendall @ Planned Parenthood
The truth is that disabled people have sex and disabled people like sex. But they don’t have access to the same advice and support as their peers.
Edited to add: A few of our favorite followers have correctly pointed out that this infographic, although interesting and informative, is not very LGBTQ inclusive. We at PP believe that everyone (and we mean EVERYONE) deserves relevant and accurate information to help them make healthy and informed choices. :)
We LOVE these graphics. Click to enlarge, click to enlarge, click to enlarge!
