Someone I love is having an abortion. How can I support them?
Someone asked us:
My older sister is planning on getting an abortion, do you have any advice on how I can offer her comfort? It was an accidental pregnancy, and shes having feelings of guilt over it. Thank you
I wish I could send you a gold plaque or a blue ribbon that reads “outstanding sibling.” Everyone deserves this kind of support when they’re going through a hard time.
Your sister trusts you enough to tell you she’s having an abortion, how she got pregnant, and how she feels about it. Let her know she can keep coming to you if she wants to talk about it. Knowing someone cares and that they’ll be there no matter what can be the most comforting thing of all.
Here are 10 other ways to support someone who’s having an abortion.
- Listen to them.
- Remind them that you support and love them no matter what.
- Help them get accurate information about abortion. PlannedParenthood.org and the staff at Planned Parenthood health centers are two sources of reliable information.
- Offer to be there with them on the day of their appointment if they want.
- Offer other practical help — like driving them home, getting them pads, or watching their kids.
- Offer hugs.
- Remind them that there’s no right or wrong way to feel about abortion. It’s OK to feel some guilt. It’s OK to feel some relief. It’s OK not to feel much at all.
- Give them space if they need it.
- Don’t tell anyone unless they ask you to. Even though abortion is nothing to be ashamed of, it’s up to them to decide who they tell, not you.
- If they’re having a really hard time, offer to help them find a professional they can talk with. The staff at their nearest Planned Parenthood health center may be able to connect them with local resources. Exhale is another great resource.
Your sister’s going to be OK. And the comfort you’re providing her is a great reminder of that.
-Emily at Planned Parenthood